Worst month of the year

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It is finally the best month of the year. And no, you’re not going to convince me otherwise.

I will be the first person to admit that I don’t know everything — with one very big exception. I have an absolutely perfect ranking of the months of the year.

Not everyone initially agrees. When I tweeted my list in September to celebrate the beginning of the third best month, a lot of people were left scratching their heads or outright protesting. “What about May?” complained the kinds of people who get May confused with June (more on that below). April’s ranking is also particularly divisive.

Ranking the months is no easy feat. It takes a lot of careful thought and time and deliberation. It also takes a lot of asterisks: This is a list specifically for the northern hemisphere, and discussions of weather come at the exclusion of outliers like Yellowknife, Canada, where it is presumably always cold, and Carrizo Springs, Texas, a town I literally just found on a map but can presume is always hot (I’m not a meteorologist, I just rank months).

Without further ado, here is my definitive, absolutely correct, unquestionable ranking of the months of the year. And yes, I am sure.

1. October

October hits the biannual sweet spot of being not too hot and not too cold. There are only two months of the year that satisfyingly achieve this — October and June — and this 10th month of the year is by far the superior one.

While the early days of September can still be cracklingly hot and dry, October is at last cooling down, enough so that by the end of the month you can break out coats and sweaters and you don’t completely hate them yet. There is the additional arboreal splendor of the trees changing color, but without the hazards of allergies that come when they bloom in the spring.

October also has a holiday — albeit not the best holiday, although that is for another list. Halloween, though, marks the first celebration in at least four months that you can put up decorations for. Even if you’re not a big fan of candy corn and scary movies, by the time the 31st rolls around, festivity feels overdue. How can it not? It’s decorative gourd season.

There is also playoff baseball, the start of the hockey and basketball seasons, and football is rolling along. The exciting winter holidays are right there on the horizon, close enough that the months stretching ahead don’t feel like a total trudge.

You might see your breath for the first time since last March and in that initial surprised puff of tiny water and ice crystals, the bliss of fall.

October is definitively the best month of the year. If you disagree, you are wrong.

2. November

Having November in the #2 position is a controversial decision, but hear me out. By the 11th month of the year, the crispness of fall has finally settled in and you no longer have to feel guilty for staying inside on bright, chilly days — the days are just chilly. Indulge in buckets of coffee and tea. Eat cold weather foods: Pies, pumpkin bread, apple cider donuts. Wrap a blanket around yourself and wear it for the next five months. If it snows, it is probably the first snow of the year — startling, blindingly white, perhaps just a dusting of power, not yet the hateful wet thing it becomes in March.

The days are getting darker and darker, which just makes the lights at night brighter: The first strings of Christmas lights might be up on your overachieving neighbor’s house, sharp sparkles in the evening gloom (and it feels like it is always evening in November). Thanksgiving brings a four-day weekend and eating and seeing family who you’re not yet sick of but will be by December. If you’re productive, you might finally start buying gifts on Black Friday. You might even buy one for yourself. Do you need an excuse? It’s cold outside.

3. September

September is a hopeful month: School is back, and you’re still okay with the thought of studying. Your new notebooks are waiting to be filled. Summer is over, but you swallowed that bitter feeling at the end of August. Your favorite TV show is back on. Football begins.

There are some places where September could almost be the best month — New England is a region that seems like it exists for the sole purpose of being occupied by people at just this time of year. The first days of September still whir with summer, even as the leaves on the trees begin their slow transformation to a slightly more orange hue. By the end of the month, the first hum of autumn has become a symphony of reds, fuchsias, coppers, even pleasant browns. By the time the equinox rolls around it feels almost overdue.

4. December

There are two kinds of people in the world: those who think December is the best month, and those who think April is the best month. Both are wrong.

December is better than eight other months of the year, though, because of its impressive volume of tier one holidays and the fact that, as a result, you spend the whole month pretending to work but kind of not doing anything at all and no one gets mad about it (unless you’re in retail, in which case this is probably the worst month of the year).

Like November, the cold in December is still new and fun — if you didn’t get the first snow of the year the month before, then it will probably fall now — and more than that, it will feel festive.

There are holiday parties to attend, sparkly clothes that would look silly any other month, egg nog to drink, ugly sweaters to wear, best-of lists to argue about. It’s the one month of the year where it’s not weird to eat peppermint and gingerbread or say the word “poinsettia” repeatedly. You can kiss strangers under dangling hemiparasitic plants and in theory not have it be creepy (it’s still creepy).

This is also the one month it is acceptable to listen to bad Christmas music and watch bad Hallmark movies and not be judged. And if you have a holiday tradition, you get to do that tradition and complain about it the entire time while secretly, quietly enjoying it, although you would never, ever admit it.

5. June

June ranks higher than the other summer months because in most places, July and August are too hot. Like October, June has near-perfect weather. It’s actually, finally summer, and there is no denying it (looking at you, April and May).

As a result, June is a month for doing all the summer things for the first time: Eating ice cream, going to the beach, stargazing, or burning your homework in a bonfire if you are of a certain age. The worst of the allergy hurdles have been cleared — you at last can rediscover that nature can be a thing you enjoy spending your time in.

6. July

July is … fine. No one should feel strongly about July. The longer the month goes on, the worse it gets. Overall, the sixth month is pretty good, because it’s officially summer and you get a day off for the Fourth of July, but by the end it is sweltering and you feel in constant need of a shower. All the fun places to hang out are crowded because everyone else thinks they’re fun too and there are only so many beaches. Out west, there might be fires.

7. January

The emotional high of the first few days of January boosts it over July’s sibling month of August. This could be my year, you still believe, looking at the 360-something days stretching into the future with promise. By the end of the month, this has probably worn off (by February, it certainly has), and what’s more, no good movies come out in January. The novelty of the gifts you received for Hanukkah or Christmas is gone, and you have a pile of ill-fitting clothes gifted to you by aunts you see once a year that you need to return.

The best months of the year (see: September-December) are in the rearview mirror and won’t return for nine more months. If you’re going to die, it’s more likely to be now than any other time of year.

8. August

August is the Sunday of the year.

It’s still summer but the season is almost over, and as a result, you spend the whole month unconsciously counting down. By the end of the month, you are left dealing with the regret of all the big plans you had that you didn’t actually do. You’re probably sunburned and it’s probably wickedly hot.

There are no holidays and your therapist is on vacation.

9. April

The most controversial placement of any month on this list is April at #9. April has a lot of defenders, although T.S. Eliot is not one.

Fittingly, April begins with your worst friend trying to prank you. Any given day this month, it is probably raining and people will say “April showers bring May flowers” and it will be annoying. You are likely allergic to something that is blooming, and you are miserable even as you try to pretend summer is right around the corner (you’ve still got to get through May and the first half of June, so it’s not). You’ll probably have spent winter not getting sick and be like, “I didn’t get sick this year!” and then get a spring flu. That’s the kind of cruel month April is.

April might have a holiday if you celebrate Easter, but it’s a holiday where you have to eat noxious neon pink marshmallow blobs and pretend it is “cute” when they get arranged into dioramas. Income taxes are due, so you have to spend 14 days of the month thinking about that.

10. May

Americans’ favorite month is May, but the 14 percent of the population that thinks May is the tops is unfortunately getting the fifth month of the year confused with June. May, people who “like May” try to assert, is “almost summer” and “warm.” These same people will probably foolishly try wearing shorts for the first time in the year, but it will be a mistake and they will be cold.

Someone will inevitably do something racist on Cinco de Mayo and we’ll all have to talk about it. Someone will do something racist on Confederate Memorial Day, and we’ll all have to talk about why this is somehow still a holiday in North Carolina. People will make the exact same May the 4th joke they always do. Mother’s Day is fine, but your mother will probably guilt you on the phone about never calling her.

One good thing about May is Memorial Day weekend. But who are you kidding, you’re not going to do anything memorable on Memorial Day.

11. March

March is an even worse version of April; it is “spring” in name only. You are rudely robbed of an hour of sleep when daylight savings time begins. You won’t win $1 million every year for life with your March Madness bracket. You have to beware the ides. If you live in New York City, St. Patrick’s Day is the second worst day of the year after SantaCon. Massachusetts has “Evacuation Day,” which doesn’t sound like a good thing. It’s still cold. It feels like it will always be cold.

12. February

February is the worst month. February is so, so, so bad. (One person out there with a February birthday is like “it’s not that bad!” and that person is wrong.)

First off, there is the spelling of this month, which makes no sense and is infuriating. (TELL ME HOW YOU SAY THE SECOND SYLLABLE OF THIS WORD). February also claims the stupidest tradition of the entire year: holding up a groundhog as a meteorological instrument. Presidents Day means you can’t go to your bank even though no one really knows why this is a federal holiday in the first place. Valentine’s Day is depressing no matter what your relationship status.

Whatever shiny, new, promising feeling January might have held is gone completely. You’ve probably already failed at your New Year’s resolutions. Reprieve from unending winter is still months away. It’s peak flu season. If there is snow on the ground, it’s brown and black from having been there forever. Then, when the month finally ends, you still have deal with March, April, and May.

Thankfully, whoever invented February also had our best interests at heart: The worst month isn’t the shortest month for nothing.

The definitive ranking of the best and worst months of the year


Dog days of summer (Don DeBold / Flickr) By Christopher IngrahamChristopher Ingraham Reporter covering all things data August 4, 2015

It’s telling that Congress typically only does one sensible thing in a given year, and they do it in August: they take the entire month off. FDR’s vice president John Nance Garner famously proclaimed “no good legislation ever comes out of Washington after June.”

The reason? Washington, and much of the rest of the country, turns into a fetid disgusting humid swamp some time after the 4th of July. In 1959, Senator Margaret Chase Smith (R-Maine) argued that summer congressional overwork led to “confused thinking, harmful emotions, destructive tempers, unsound and unwise legislation, and ill health.”

True for Congress, and true for the rest of us too. Which is why it should be clear to any right-thinking individual that August is the worst month of the year! But shockingly, Americans don’t rank August as the worst month. Or the second-worst, or even the third. In a 2005 Gallup survey — the most recent year the survey firm asked this question — August came in as only the fourth-worst month of the year.

Gallup asked 1,000 Americans about their favorite month. May came in first, with October running a close second. June and December tied for third, with July and April tied for fifth. In a grave injustice, Americans ranked the winter months of January and February dead last.

It’s also fascinating to see how Americans’ seasonal preferences have changed over the past 45 years.

Gallup asked this question previously in 1960. Since then, October, December and November have risen considerably in Americans’ esteem. September, August and January have fallen in the rankings.

Both the 1960 and June 2005 rankings are wrong, for reasons I’ll get into shortly. But first, Gallup also asked Americans about their favorite days of the week.

It’s odd to me that Friday ranks higher than Saturday and Sunday — people have to work on Friday! But evidently, the anticipation of the weekend is even more enjoyable than the weekend itself. Conversely, Tuesday is hands-down the worst day of the week, ranking even lower than Monday.

There’s a bit of a partisan dimension to these numbers. Republicans (27 percent) are more likely than Democrats (21 percent) or Independents (20 percent) to call Sunday their favorite day — a reflection, no doubt, of the greater religiosity in the Republican party.

Gallup has partisan breakdowns of favorite months too — here’s how those rankings stack up.

Democrats are slight outliers when it comes to monthly preferences. They pick July as their favorite month. And December ranks relatively low — Democrats put it at 7th place, while Republicans and Independents have it at third. All groups agree that the first three months of the year are the three worst.

But the only thing you need to know about these rankings is that they are wrong. Dead wrong, in fact.

Look, October is the greatest month of the year, period. Sweaters. PSLs. Leaves. Decorative gourds. And September is basically October-lite, which gives it an automatic second place. April is okay too — warm enough to feel like spring, but not too hot. January and February mean snow, and snow is great — 4 and 5. The other months are kind of middling. March? Does anybody have strong opinions about March (no, they don’t).

But the real strength in my ranking is that it places the summer months of July and August where they belong — dead last. Honestly I wish there was another month of the year just so I could give July and August lower scores. But there isn’t, so here we are.

Let me know your favorite month below, or share your ranking with me on Twitter so I can tell you how wrong you are.

Which month is the best? View Results

This is a non-scientific user poll. Results are not statistically valid and cannot be assumed to reflect the views of Washington Post users as a group or the general population.

Welcome to the worst month of the year.

Courtesy of LPL Research:

Well, here it comes—September. It’s widely considered the worst month of the year for equities for good reason, since it has historically performed the worst. Per Ryan Detrick, senior market strategist, “September is the banana peel month, as some of the largest slips tend to take place during this month. Although the economy is still quite strong, and stocks are marking hew highs, this doesn’t mean some usual September volatility is out of the question—in fact, we’d be surprised if volatility didn’t pick up given midterm years tend to see big moves in the months leading up to the November election.”

Here’s some data to consider as September approaches:

  • Since 1950, no month sports a lower average return than September, with the S&P 500 Index down 0.47% on average. June and August are the only other months that are generally in the negative, while November and December tend to be the strongest months of the year.
  • In the past 20 years, September has been the second-worst month, with only August fairing worse. More recently, over the past 10 years, it’s still down on average but comes in at the fifth-worst month.
  • The worst September ever for the S&P 500 was a 30% drop in 1931. In fact, no other month has had more 10% drops than September, at seven. Interestingly, January is the only month that has never been down 10% or more.
  • Since 1950, if the S&P 500 starts September above its 200-day moving average (like 2018 will), it tends to do much better, as it is up 0.4% on average versus down 2.7% if it starts the month below the 200-day moving average.

Last, as we shared last week, when the S&P 500 is up in the five months heading into September (like 2018), the month has historically done quite well, up 2.3% on average and higher four out of five times since 1950.

Source: https://lplresearch.com/2018/09/04/the-worst-month-of-the-year/

September is the best month

Wikimedia Commons It’s time to put this argument to rest once and for all: September is the best month of the year.

First, let’s run down the definitive ranking of months from best to worst:

  • September
  • October
  • November
  • December
  • May
  • June
  • January
  • July
  • August
  • April
  • February
  • March

As is clear in the ranking, autumn is the best season.

Not only does the weather in autumn provide a sampling of each of the year’s best offerings — a little heat in September, morning frost in October, a pleasantly warm day in November, a satisfyingly cold afternoon in December — but the year’s best holidays also highlight the season.

Thanksgiving is the best holiday.

Christmas is the second-best holiday, though mostly because it is broadly acceptable to take most of the time between December 24 and January 2 off from work.

Autumn also represents the best working conditions of the year. People come back to school and work from summer breaks refreshed and ready to be productive. Many companies begin eyeing their year-end results and kick into gear for a “fall sprint” into the fourth quarter.

And while some may argue this enhanced productivity is a result of having taken the summer to recharge — thus potentially bolstering a case for summer being the best season — most of this boost comes from pent-up energy that lies dormant during the dull summer months. Boredom is the motivating factor during the autumn push to be more productive.

On to the rest of the list: May and June provide the bit of summer you’re actually looking for. By the time February and March have crushed your spirit, May and June provide more daylight, slightly warmer temperatures, new clothes and sneakers.

May, unfortunately, means wicked allergies for many in the Northeast, however.

But a redeeming quality for May is Memorial Day, providing a much-needed three-day weekend and marking the unofficial beginning of summer. For many US states, May also marks the end of the school year.

June often provides just enough heat to get you leaving the house without a light jacket or the need for contingent clothing options, which is among the most tiring features of the February-through-April push.

By the end of June, however, the tyranny of summer is plain to see. The worst is yet to come.

January’s ranking as the seventh-best month is likely to upset some observers who parrot the standard, “There’s nothing to see after Christmas routine.”

But January gives us two holidays — New Year’s Day and Martin Luther King Jr. Day. Every four years we get a presidential inauguration. In many years, January is the first time meaningful snowfall makes its way to the DC-Boston corridor, an event much-anticipated by residents and much-derided by non-resident Twitter users.

There’s something for everyone. Winter lasting three-plus months is a cruel joke. January, however, provides the right sampling of the season’s offerings.

Which brings us to summer.

For all of the hand-wringing you’re apt to see about the end of summer being sad, the reality is that summer does not live up to the hype.

Summer is too hot. Major summer activities — taking vacation, watching baseball, eating ice cream, watching fireworks, going to air-conditioned movie theaters — are all overrated.

Summer is fun for about two weeks after the school year ends — in June — and when the corporate world moves into a lower gear. Almost right after this period (read: your first outdoor happy hour), however, it’s obvious why we work hard and go to school: There’s just not much else to do with our time.

July and August, as the prime summer months, represent the brunt of this grind. They are oppressively hot months. They are boring months. They are long months (back-to-back 31-day months). They are bad months. Plain and simple.

April, if only for the slightly-better-than-March weather and the longer days, ranks above February and March. But the latter two, the true grind-it-out days of winter, are terrible months. March features no holidays. February features just one. (Though President’s Day sometimes does not represent a day off work).

As for fake holidays, February and March have the year’s two worst: Valentine’s Day and St. Patrick’s Day, respectively.

Valentine’s Day provides the illusion of a chance for bad partners to make up for their shortcomings and think it’s OK. St. Patrick’s Day is a mess.

Email me your thoughts.

The best time of the year to be born

THERE’S a joke in my family that my parents only had sex on their birthdays.

My youngest brother and I are born exactly nine months after my mum’s birthday (OK, he’s nine months and one day) while my eldest brother was born nine months to the day after my dad’s birthday.

My parents’ proclivities aside, I’ve discovered that far from being a random number on your birth certificate your date of birth — or, more specifically, the month — has a huge influence on your life. So, without further ado, let me guide you through the best time of the year to be born.

January

The first month of the year is an absolutely pants time to arrive in the world. No one has any money after Christmas so your birthdays will be celebrated with leftover ham and recycled gifts. I know one family who celebrated their January baby’s birthday in March, simply because he was too young to know any difference. Those born in the first half of the month fall under the zodiac sign Capricorn. No one wants to be a goat or marry one. They’re stubborn and pessimistic.

February

Aside from the fact you run the risk of being born on the 29th and thus will only have a birthday every fourth year, your parties will be miserable affairs on account of everyone being on Feb Fast. A lot of February babies grow up to be artists. Ergo, penniless.

March

Pity the poor mother who is pregnant through the hot summer months and then has to decide whether to send her March baby to school while she’s still four and one of the youngest in the class or wait until she’s nearly six and have to pay another year of childcare fees. Still, March babies have gorgeous aquamarines as their birth stones although with half of them being Pisces they’ll probably lose them while swimming.

media_camera Queen Elizabeth II celebrated her 92nd birthday during Trooping the Colour ceremony in June, despite her actual birthday falling on April 21st. (Pic: Dan Kitwood/Getty Images)

April

Good luck to you if you’re born on April Fool’s Day or, worse, Anzac Day or Easter when the hospitals are staffed by three nurses and a cleaner. Thank goodness diamonds are your birthstone — you’ll be able to sell a few to pay for rehab since April babies are the most likely to become alcoholics.

May

Great month for girl babies since their mothers have had plenty of vitamin D through the summer meaning their offspring will go on to experience menopause later than most. That said, May babies are more susceptible to eczema. And possibly neglect since their knackered mothers will tire of the 3am breastfeed over the next three months when temperatures plummet to two degrees.

June

This month produces the highest number of Nobel prize winners and CEOs. It also produces Geminis (Donald Trump among them), about which the less said the better. Their birthstones are pearls and some other obscure bits of rock that you can doubtless pick up on any beach. Still the Queen has one of her two birthdays in June (greedy minx) and she’s still going strong at 92.

July

No one will come to your birthday thanks to Dry July, not that those born under the sign of Cancer will mind since they’re empathetic and apparently like “home-based hobbies” so will occupy themselves by doing macramé. July produces the tallest people and the grumpiest, according to (questionable) research.

August

You lot won the birth month lottery. There’s no quibbles about when you’ll start school, peridots are lovely birthstones and Leos (those born before August 23) are driven, loyal, warm and self-confident. Chris Hemsworth, Meghan Markle and Warren Buffett were all born in August so there’s a good chance you’ll be hot, rich or marry a prince.

media_camera If Monday’s child is fair of face does that mean Chris Hemsworth was born on a Monday in August? (Pic: Brendon Thorne/AAP)

September

Oh dear. September 17, 23, and 24 are three of the four most common dates of birth in Australia according to the census. This isn’t good. It means your parents had sex at Christmas which means they’re unoriginal. It also means you’ll be born in an overcrowded hospital and delivered by an intern using unsterilised forceps. Still, if you do survive you’ll celebrate your birthday during the footy finals.

October

Apparently, October bubs live the longest. Which is the consolation prize for Librans who have a poxy set of scales as their birth sign. Those with October birthdays can wear opals — considered bad luck for anyone else, particularly opal sellers. Standout October bub is Matt Damon who proves the theory that October men are good marriage material. Oh, and U2’s October is an excellent album *grasping at straws*.

November

I may be biased (the 10th, thanks for asking and all gifts warmly received) but November babies are awesome. A great time for mums to give birth with the long months of summer ahead, the jacarandas in bloom and shellfish and soft cheese back on the menu. Plus Scorpios, what’s not to love — we’re passionate, sexy, mysterious and not the least bit jealous *ahem*. Er, more serial killers are born this month than any other.

December

Poor buggers — they’re the youngest — read, weakest — in sports teams, have to compete with all the Christmas parties and no one can remember a single defining characteristic of Sagittarians except Sagittarians themselves (they’re adventurous, optimistic and intellectual — or so they’ll tell you). The only thing worse than being born in December would be being a twin born in December. Especially on the 25th.

The definitive ranking of every month in a year, from worst to best

“Stole a calendar, got twelve months” – Yer Da.

At the risk of sounding like a bored Mum, this year is absolutely flying in. Yesterday it was January, now we’re kissing mid August, every day hurtling closer towards the inevitable sweet release of death.

The months of the year are arranged in a particular order that the Month namers decided back at the beginning of time. Respect where it’s due, they did a decent job, apart from February.

But which months are the absolute best, and which are the absolute worst? Relax, I’ve figured it out.

12. January

January is the absolute fucking worst month and I am prepared to go to court over this statement. Jesus what a shit show of a month. It’s cold, Christmas is over and everyone is in a bad mood. How the fuck did Mr and Mrs Jones look at their beautiful baby and decide to call her January? Did they truly despise her that much? She’s a terrific actress and a stunning woman. How very dare they attach such a putrid association into her name. Bastards. January is disgusting and I hate it. I want bad things to happen to the month of January.

11. March

The month of March is a symbol for an identity crisis if ever the world saw one. The weather is always shit, there’s usually a sprinkling of snow lingering, prompting the entire country to say “SNOW? IN MARCH?” as if that’s some kind of earth-shattering realisation the world has never seen before. March can fuck off. It’s the second month to have 31 days, because why not have something terrible last a day longer than it should have to? If March was a person, it would be a combination of Piers Morgan and Mel Gibson. March is a verb and I refuse to acknowledge it as anything else.

10. September

Regardless of what age you are, the arrival of September fills you with an unshakeable feeling of existential dread. Fuck, school is coming back. Oh wait, you are 35 and worked through the entire summer without a break, school isn’t coming for you, life is just continuing. Weather-wise, it’s a shit show. There’s still a tinge of heat in the air as the summer blows the rest of its remaining metaphorical load, meanwhile you’re being defiantly brazen heading out without a jacket, only to feel the harmful health effects of it roughly four minutes after leaving the house. Hello head cold!

9. November

What an absolute nothing of a month. The brief high from October has dissipated as the already Christmas-decorated shops start to blare Noddy Holder akin to that of a Guantanamo torture chamber. It’s too soon to get excited about the festivities, so you pace yourself by focusing on how fucking cold it is. It’s freezing. At work, you take up smoking so you can nip outside for a bit of warm air (compared to the inhumane office temperature). The evenings are darker than an M. Night Shyamalan movie and you’re comfort eating to soothe the relentless sadness within. Banter 🙂

8. February

Or as it should be known, January Part II. February, from its name, to its spelling, to its changing quantity of days, can fuck off. I’m about two more Februarys away from officially petitioning for it to be eradicated entirely. There is simply no need for this preposterous month. If February was a movie, it would be The Emoji Movie, terrible on paper and also terrible in practice. January is a tough enough month to get through without having a dry dick like February following it. Go away, February. Go away to heck.

7. April

Firstly, April Fools can fuck off. It’s a day for people that comment cry laugh emojis under radio station memes on Facebook and share competitions to win a brand new Audi from a page that has blatantly got no affiliation with Audi whatsoever and is being run by a horny teen who’s racking up the likes so he can sell the page to some shitty new blogger. April itself is always wet, it’s still fairly cold and event-wise, it’s boring. The only saving grace is that sometimes Easter falls in April so we all get to eat an absurd amount of chocolate to distract ourselves from the abyss we’re all hurtling towards from birth.

6. August

As far as months go, not a bad guy. August gives us our final bank holiday until October and the weather is usually very decent. The smartest fuckers at work book their holidays for this month so they get to look forward to it all summer and have a decent tan until at least mid September. Summer is still in the air and people are in good spirits. Everyone’s determined to get the final few goes out of the unnecessarily expensive BBQ they purchased in May, and it’s still socially acceptable to drink and smoke your lungs out in a park while listening to the sweet melodies of DJ Calvin Harris off your phone speaker.

5. June

Now we’re fucking talking. Things are absolutely cruising in June. The weather is mostly alright, you don’t have to wear a coat and every day is a party. The only thing standing in the way of you having the perfect summer is work, but that’s a minor technicality. You indulge yourself in an unsightly amount of holiday days, long weekends and working from home days because life is for fucking living. The office is a bit quieter now that Linda from accounts with the strong perfume has fucked off to Majorca for ten days, so you’re off the hook for small talk. She even comes back with an office Toblerone, so it’s not all bad news.

4. May

Here comes the sun (doodle doodle), alright it’s not quite here yet, but it’s on the way. The oven is preheating and the endless possibilities of summer are being planned. The only thing getting you through the previous four months was the promise of what’s to come. This summer is going to be different, you’re not going to piss it away this year. You’re going travelling, consuming a large amount of cider and maybe even kissing someone on the mouth. May the 4th be with you, dorks.

3. October

Oh heck yes we’ve got some motherfucking Autumn here my dudes. There are leaves everywhere and you haven’t got a decent pair of shoes undisturbed by the shite they bring with them, but the world finally feels cosy again. September is a transitional month, it can go either way, but October knows what it wants in life. It’s the Brad Pitt in a rom-com of months. Outside smells really nice, it’s a mixture of chimneys getting a good roasting and that indescribable Autumny smell. Also, HALLOWEEN! SWEETS! BONFIRES! FIREWORKS! SCARY MOVIES!

2. July

July is peak summer. Plans are in motion, the weather is warm and there are a few shitty festivals taking place. What joy! Perhaps a weekend break is in order because money is of no shortage in July, those are the rules, you simply do not look at your bank balance in July. Pimms has become your main source of hydration because they’re all drinking it at Wimbledon so why shouldn’t you, (out of a can, on the train, at midday). July is bangin’. There’s been some summer before it and there will be some summer after it. Everything is fine. No harm can come to you in July. It is a safe space. You may never need a jacket again.

1. December

Yeah, obviously. Fucking Christmas, that’s why. December is a magical month. It’s finally acceptable to get into the festive spirit, whilst also panicking about the obligatory presents you must provide for those around you in exchange for utter shite that you never needed nor wanted. Your bullshit healthy eating attempts are cast asunder for one month only, as you panic buy more mince pies than is physically possible to fit in your car to last you through the holidays.

IT MIGHT EVEN SNOW but not during the week please because getting to work will be a nightmare BUT PREFERABLY AT THE WEEKEND OR SOME EVENING BUT PLEASE CLEAR BY THE MORNING OR EVEN ON CHRISTMAS DAY OH HECK YES!!!! December is indisputably the best month. Food, a few days off work, presents, family, cosy nights watching shitty festive movies and also more food. Let’s give December a few extra days and sack off February completely because it is a shit show. Namaste.

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    • Months.

It’s August. This month, warm, sticky weather will cover most of the country. Many Americans will squeeze in one last vacation before summer ends. Even the U.S. Congress will take off all of August — as do most Europeans. And children will gear up to head back to school, which their parents face with joy or dread.

So you’d think that we have strong feelings about August, right? But unexpectedly, this muggy month of transition isn’t Americans’ favorite or most-reviled month.

A few years ago, Gallup surveyed 1,000 Americans about the best and worst months and the results may surprise you. In the survey, May was best but October wasn’t too far behind. December and June were tied for third; July and April tied at fifth. The absolute worst months were January and February. The bottom line: We love spring and hate winter.

Washington Post + Gallup

And when it comes to the preferred days of the week, Americans have a case of the Mondays. That day is the worst for 65% of people. Tuesdays, however, were named favorite by the fewest number of Americans. Go figure. Another surprise: Everybody may be working for the weekend, but 30% of people say Friday is their favorite day — not Saturday or Sunday (which are the second- and third-most popular.) Perhaps looking forward to days off is better than whatever you actually have planned.

Washington Post + Gallup

It’s not the first time Gallup has posed this question: The company conducted a similar poll in 1960 and in 1947. Since then, January, August, and September have become far less popular — while October, November, and December have gotten a significant bump in our affections.

[via The Washington Post

Asher Fogle Writer When she’s not hunting for compelling personal stories or justifying her love for dessert, Asher can likely be found watching early-2000s TV on Netflix with her husband.

THE SONIC BOOMER

February is my favorite month of the year. Not only is it my birthday month, but, come Valentine’s Day, we finally have the perfect excuse to renege on our hastily made and ill-thought-out resolution to avoid candy. Who would be so mean as to turn up their nose at a red heart-shaped box of candy? You just can’t!

Of course, December is my real “favorite month.” Not only does it offer the mad frenzy of the holidays (including psychological license to shop up a storm), it offers the promise of a great new year.

Which is why I love January. It takes time, but in January, I gather up all the receipts and photos and outdated mail of the previous year and sort it into its proper bins, then start out fresh with a big smile on my face. What could go wrong?

And then there’s March. Everyone gets to be Irish for a day and spring is just around the corner. This year, Easter is in March. That means little girls in pastel dresses and little boys in uncomfortable suits, posing for pictures before they get back to the real world of jeans and T-shirts. It’s just too cute.

April brings showers — of tax refunds. Preparing one’s taxes is an enormous job, but I’m always curious to see how things turn out in the end. If it ends up with the government sending me a check, I’m ecstatic. They ought to send me a check every month. (Oh, yeah! Someday I’ll have Social Security for that.)

May is another favorite month of mine. It doesn’t have any child-centric holidays in it, but it does have Mother’s Day. Mother’s Day is a lot less frenetic and a lot more stately. The restaurants are glutted with mothers, all of them saying the same thing, which is, “You don’t have to do this.” But the mothers have also said, “Don’t get me anything! I don’t need anything! Where would I put anything?” So dinner it is.

Of course, one cannot argue against the summer months as favorites. June, July and August have kids home from school and the fireworks on the Fourth of July. Summer vacations take place, and families get to reconnect while riding in the car, touring caves or standing in line at Walt Disney World.

Still, I have always loved September. With the kids back in school, I could start hunkering down for fall. I always want to redecorate in the fall and, in Florida, I always prefer “fall cleaning” to “spring cleaning.” The weather is cooperative, and it makes sense to get everything ship-shape before the relatives show up in November and December.

Finally, it’s October. What a cool, fun month that is! Halloween is constantly evolving; it seems to be more fun every year. Any celebration that allows for that much creativity can’t be all bad. And a tip of the hat to Martha Stewart Living, a magazine which takes a lot of flak for being the OCD encyclopedia of magazines, but which embraces Halloween in amazingly new and creative ways each year. It’s my favorite issue.

Did I mention that November is my favorite month? I love how American families go through heck and high water to travel over the river and through the woods to get together for Thanksgiving. The airports are a mess… the highways are glutted… the trains and buses are overcrowded… and all because we want to be together again, even if it’s for just one single day. I love that.

So now you know what my favorite month is. I’m sure you have your own.

Why December Is My Favorite Month of the Year

Chastin J. MilesFollow Dec 3, 2015 · 2 min read

I can’t even contain my excitement when I think about the month of December. It’s one of my favorite months, if not, my most favorite month of the year. It’s not just because of Dec. 25 but it’s the whole month in general. I love the holiday season. I love seeing everyone’s creativity come out with their holiday decorations. I love the winter fashions. I love the cheerful giving that many participate in. It’s the one month of the year that I feel like the masses come out and help one another.

December is also a month of planning. Many people plan their successes for the next year. As the new year is right around the corner, everyone is preparing. The new year often presents a new beginning for many. December gives us all an opportunity to look over the past year and plan out our next year. I love this stuff.

My December Starbucks cup

Of course, I also love Christmas. I love being with my family. I love seeing the smiles on others faces and we exchange gifts. I love the desserts. Cookies, pies, cakes, I love it all.

December is my favorite month for all of the activities. I love the holiday activities. They bring friends, families, and even strangers together. It’s so cool how a song can come on, and everyone knows the words and sings joyfully to the sound of Jingle Bells. It’s that amazing?

December is a month of unity. It’s a month of forgiveness, it’s a month of peace, it’s a month of charity, it’s a month of creativity, and the list goes on.

December is my favorite month.

About Me:

Chastin J. Miles is a Dallas Real Estate agent on a mission to help first time home buyers and millennials get into their first home. Chastin J. Miles aims to bring a new light and perspective to the traditional real estate agent. He extends far beyond what a conventional agent offers. Chastin J. Miles envisions himself as both a lifestyle agent committed to informing and connecting our local communities, and as an agent offering design, marketing, and sales solutions for buyers, sellers, develops, and investors local and internationally.