How to address wedding check?

Wedding guests, we know you have good intentions when you give a check as a wedding gift so the couple has a little more money to start off their lives together. But if you really want to make their lives easier, take this simple (and free!) step.

Woman signing cheque, close-up of hands

Getty Images

Address the wedding gift check to the groom only.

It sounds anti-feminist, but actually it’s just the opposite. Paul and I received so many checks as wedding presents addressed to Paul and Meredith DiPilato. One problem: There is no Meredith DiPilato. (Well, according to Google there is, but she is not me.) Since I kept my last name, we had trouble depositing these checks at the bank because the fictional Meredith DiPilato wasn’t a joint account holder with Paul. It took several visits, several weeks, and more pleading than I care to ever do again, but eventually, we were able to deposit those checks.

Another reason to list just the groom on the wedding gift check: Not every couple has a joint bank account the moment they’re married. So even if I had changed my last name, unless we were both account holders on the same account, we’d have to explain and plead some more to get those checks deposited.

And finally, leave the bride off the check unless you’re 100 percent positive of what her post-wedding name will be. One friend addressed the check to Meredith DiPilato alone. More begging at the bank ensued.

To whom do you usually address wedding gift checks? Any married gals have this same problem with checks? Would you be offended if a wedding guest only addressed the check to the groom?

More About Wedding Gifts__

Why This Guy Brings Two Wedding Gifts to Every Event

Do You Always Give a Wedding Gift? Be Honest!

I’m a Broke Bridesmaid. Do I Have to Give a Wedding Gift?

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Photo: Keith Brofsky

Has that feeling of “Engaged Bliss” begun to morph into the “Now What?!” phase?

If so, rest assured that this is totally normal—and you’ve come to the right place.

Here Comes The Guide is here to help you through your wedding planning, and a great place to start is with our Wedding Checklist!

Scroll down to view it, or get a printable PDF version of the checklist here →

Don’t have a year to plan? Not a problem—check out our 90-Day Wedding Planning Checklist.

10–12 Months To Go…

The Lees Photography

  • Work out your budget and establish your top priorities—where to save/where to splurge.
  • Get your creative juices flowing. Start browsing our Wedding Ideas, Real Weddings and Pinterest as well as bridal blogs and magazines to identify your wedding style and color palette.
  • Compile your preliminary guest list (you’ll need that guest count!).
  • Choose your wedding party—who do you want by your side at the altar?
  • Sign up for MyGuide. We’ll send you useful—and sassy!—wedding planning emails.
  • Find a venue for your ceremony and reception, and reserve your date. Know what questions to ask when evaluating a wedding venue.

Deer Park Villa, Northern CA Wedding Venue

  • Do you need wedding insurance? It’s something to think about. Check with your venue about Liability Insurance and consider other options, like cancellation insurance.
  • Now that you have a date, tell everyone to save it! For destination weddings or weddings around a holiday, consider sending out Save-the-Date cards or emails. Or create your own wedding website, and let your invitees know about it.
  • Say yes to your wedding dress (or tux!) and begin assembling the perfect accessories. Need inspiration? Attend a trunk show or bridal fair.
  • Already feeling overwhelmed? Consider hiring a Wedding Planner.
  • Find a Vendor. Assemble an all-star vendor team. We’d start with:
    • Caterer
    • Photographer / Videographer
    • Officiant
    • When you hire a vendor, get all the details in writing!

  • Another way to minimize stress: Start dreaming up your honeymoon…and check out our Plan A Honeymoon section on HereComesTheGuide.com.

6–9 Months To Go…

All You Need Is Love Events

  • Continue researching, interviewing and booking vendors:
    • Decide on arrangements with your Floral Designer.
    • Do a tasting and choose your wedding cake with your Cake Designer.
    • Hire the DJ/Entertainment for your ceremony, cocktail hour and reception.
    • Discuss the style and wording of your wedding invitations with a Stationer.
  • Create your gift registry (and don’t forget to update your wedding website!).
  • Arrange hotel room blocks for out-of-town guests and book your own suite for the wedding night.
  • Shop for bridesmaid/flower girl dresses and give your attendants clear instructions on how to place their orders.
  • Arrange and book any necessary transportation.
  • Go over bridal shower/bachelorette details and the guest list with the person(s) hosting your party.

3–5 Months To Go…

Elizabeth Burgi Photography

  • Book the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner location(s). If you’re including entertainment or specialty details like a groom’s cake, now’s the time to lock in these elements.
  • Put together your rehearsal dinner guest list.
  • Make childcare arrangements for your guests’ kids.
  • Reserve all necessary party rentals and linens.
  • Order wedding favors for your guests.
  • Shop for and reserve men’s formalwear.
  • Concentrate on finalizing the:
    • Guest list. Get everyone’s mailing address.
    • Invitation wording. Confirm your invitation text with the Stationer, and consider additional stationery (programs, menu cards, place cards, thank-you cards, etc.). Schedule a pickup date for your invites.
    • Ceremony readings and vows.
    • Menu, beverage and catering details.
    • Timeline of the reception formalities.
  • Do a Makeup & Hair trial and book your stylists. While you’re at it, come up with your own beauty and fitness regimen to be camera-ready for the big day.
  • Shop for and purchase your wedding rings.
  • Finalize honeymoon plans and obtain all necessary documents (are you sure your passports are up to date?).

6–8 Weeks To Go…

Rifle Paper Co. | Amelia Johnson Photography

  • You’re getting close…. Mail out those invitations! Have a game plan for recording the RSVPs and meal choices.
  • Touch base with your vendors to confirm date, deposits and details.
  • Start researching marriage license requirements and name-change paperwork.
  • Begin your dress fittings. Be sure to buy the appropriate undergarments beforehand.
  • So you think you can’t dance? Consider taking a dance lesson with your fiancé—a good way to break in your bridal shoes!
  • Give the wedding party a nudge—make sure they’ve ordered all necessary attire.
  • Write thank-you cards for shower gifts and any early wedding gifts received.

3–5 Weeks To Go…

Posh Peony Floral and Event Design

  • Send out rehearsal dinner invitations. If your get-together will be informal, feel free to send an Evite.
  • Finalize and confirm:
    • Wedding vows and readings with your Officiant.
    • Shot list with your Photographer/Videographer.
    • Song list for ceremony, cocktail hour and reception with your DJ and/or Band/Musicians.
    • Timeline for the reception and who’s giving the toasts.
    • Wedding night and honeymoon accommodations.
  • Obtain marriage license and complete name-change documents, if applicable.
  • Pick up your wedding rings and proofread any engraving!
  • If you’re the traditional type, do you have something old, new, borrowed and blue?
  • Purchase your guest book, toasting flutes, cake servers, unity candle, and all that good stuff.
  • Buy gifts (optional) for the wedding party and parents of the wedding couple.
  • Have your final dress fitting. Bring your shoes and accessories for the full impact.
  • Sigh. Hunt down whoever hasn’t RSVP’d yet.

1–2 Weeks To Go…

Tin Photography

  • Give your caterer/venue the final guest count.
  • Arrange seating and create the seating chart and/or place cards.
  • Pick up your gown. Swoon.
  • Confirm arrival times and finalize the wedding timeline with vendors and the wedding party—make sure your MOH has a copy, too.
  • Put together your own Bridal Emergency Kit.
  • Speaking of emergencies: Check the weather report, and if things look iffy contact your venue to make sure a contingency plan is in place.
  • Start packing for your honeymoon. (See “weather report” above.)
  • In desperate need of a facial or massage? Now’s the time to squeeze one in.

The Day Before…

Regency at Dominion Valley | Jillian Michelle Photography

  • Make sure all wedding-day items are packed/laid out and ready to go! (Don’t forget the rings and marriage license!)
  • Figure out tips and final payments for vendors. Put them in clearly marked envelopes and give them to the Best Man or another person you trust to hand out at the reception.
  • Assign someone to pack up your gifts/belongings after the reception (don’t forget the top tier of your cake!).
  • Thank your BFF for agreeing to return your groom’s tux and other rental items the day after the wedding.
  • Enjoy a mani-pedi.
  • Attend the rehearsal and dinner. Now’s the time to give out wedding party gifts.
  • Try to go to bed early…you need your beauty sleep tonight.

Wedding-Day Advice

Gavin Farrington Photography

  • Allow plenty of time to get ready.
  • Do the rounds at your wedding—greet everyone and thank them for coming.
  • Take a deep breath. Stop to appreciate your new spouse and the day that you spent so much time planning!

After the Honeymoon/Back to Reality…

Aevitas Weddings

  • Write and send thank-you cards.
    (Don’t procrastinate!)
  • Complete your registry and exchange any unwanted or duplicate gifts.
  • Have your wedding dress cleaned and preserved by a reputable company.
  • Keep in touch with your Photographer/Videographer to work on albums, DVDs, etc.
  • Enjoy wedded bliss…

Robyn Van Dyke Photography

For a printable version of this article, click here:

Collect them all! (We told you we love lists.)

Big Picture Wedding Checklist | Ultimate Wedding Budget Checklist | 90-Day Wedding Planning Checklist | Elopement Checklist | Barn Wedding Checklist | Beach Wedding Checklist | Destination Wedding Checklist | Wedding Beauty Timeline

Even if you don’t envision the money being put toward a specific goal, a note still “gives you a chance to express the sentiment, which is what we need in order for cash or a cash gift to be received well,” Post says.

Post also recommends sending a check instead of a wad of bills, in case your envelope gets misplaced.

How much you decide to write the check for is up to you. “Your gift should always be within your personal budget,” Post says. “You decide that based on your connection to the person getting married, your own gift-giving style, desire and generosity in that moment and what’s feasible for you to do.”

You can also ignore the conventional wisdom that you need to cover the cost of your meal or that you should spend the same amount on every couple, according to Post. Give what makes sense for your budget and your connection to the couple. At the end of the day, wedding gifts are meant to honor the couple and thank them for including you — not for leaving guests with mounting credit card bills.

Don’t miss: Here’s exactly how much you should spend on a wedding gift

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