Funny product warning labels

Warning: Reading this story may result in slight visual fatigue. In some cases, the contents of the text could cause gentle convulsing of the abdomen accompanied by a coarse “hah” sound, or possibly a high-pitched “tee-hee.” If you read this story while at the office, you may receive a reprimand from your boss who expects you to, you know, be doing actual work during the day. Unless you’re an insurance agent. Best I can tell, those guys never really do much of anything.

Whew — sorry about that. After spending the last several days reading ridiculous product disclaimers, I figured I’d better cover my bases.

Our lawsuit-happy culture, you see, has resulted in companies going to extreme lengths to make sure they’re protected. It’s hard to blame ’em: Truth is, they never know who’s going to do something dumb with their products and then sue them for the damage. The whole thing has really gotten out of hand — and the realm of tech is no exception.

Case in point: Researchers in the U.K. are now suggesting smartphones and other mobile devices come with health warnings — not about potential radiation, mind you, but about the fact that you could become “addicted” to the device.

Yeah. Exactly.

I decided to dig around to find the world’s most absurd tech warning labels. I can say with confidence that the 30 warnings listed below are among the most stupid, unnecessary disclaimers I’ve ever encountered. I suspect you’ll agree.

Disclaimer: Absurdity of warnings is subjective and may not be apparent to lawyers, consultants, or people who regularly use the word “synergy.” If you don’t find any of the following items even remotely amusing, please turn off your computer and smack yourself in the head with the nearest rubber mallet.

Warning #1: Danger Mouse

Seen in the manual for an SGI computer: “Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers.”

Smacking them with the keyboard, however, is perfectly permissible.

Warning #2: Booze Blues

Seen on a Terrestrial Digital outdoor antenna: “Do not attempt to install if drunk, pregnant, or both.”

Of course, if you’re drunk and pregnant, you probably have bigger problems.

Warning #3: Three-Dimensional Danger

Seen on a Samsung 3D TV disclaimer: “Pregnant women, the elderly, sufferers of serious medical conditions, those who are sleep deprived or under the influence of alcohol should avoid utilizing the unit’s 3D functionality.”

Man, those drunk moms-to-be just can’t catch a break!

Warning #4: Options, Options

Seen on a computer software package: “Optional modem required.”

The writer’s mandatory English language class, incidentally, was not completed.

Warning #5: Microwave Madness

Seen on a microwave oven manual: “Do not use for drying pets.”

To be fair, some people totally misunderstand that “hot dog” button.

Warning #6: iPod, iEat

Seen on Apple’s iPod Shuffle marketing materials in 2005: “Do not eat iPod Shuffle.”

Wait — does that apply even if you’re drunk and pregnant?

Warning #7: Wet Set

Seen on a TV manual: “Do not pour liquids into your television set.”

Uh, hello? I’m pretty thirsty after eating that iPod, and it’d be rude not to share.

Warning #8: Laser Loser

Seen on a laser pointer user manual: “Do not look into laser with remaining eye.”

And sorry about that missing eye, by the way; we really should have warned you not to stare into the laser.

Warning #9: Warning Overdrive

Seen on the case for Jabra’s Drive ‘N’ Talk car Bluetooth speakerphone: “Never operate your speakerphone while driving.”

Also, never read warning labels with your eyes open. It’s dangerous.

Warning #10: Watch This

Seen on the packaging for a wristwatch: “Warning! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants.”

I guess some dudes really are desperate to get a couple of hands down there.

Funny Warning Labels

Spread the humour

  • Funny Warning Labels

    Here is Will and Guy’s collection of funny warnings on labels, signs and assorted products. We also have a few lucky escapes!

    Funny Warnings: Topics on This Page

    • Funny Warning Labels Found on Food Packaging
    • Silly Warning Label – But Oh So True!
    • Strange Instructions
    • Stupid Warning Signs

    More Funny Warnings on Other Pages

    You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public. Scott Adams

    • Funny Safety Pictures
    • Funny Health and Safety – Dangerous Ladders
    • Safety PowerPoint Presentation
    • Accidents – Video Clip
    • Funny Warning Signs
    • Silly Christmas Warnings
    • Funny Christmas Labels
    • Funny Warning Labels
    • Silly Labels
    • Funny Labels on Food and Other Products
    • Shoot Self – Beware
    • Lucky Escape

    Will and Guy’s 10 Funny Warning Labels Found on Food Packaging

    Cautionary notices on packaging is good source of humour, here are ten of our best examples.

    1. Suitable for outdoor use. Found on a rain gauge.
    2. For use by trained personnel only. On a can of air freshener.
    3. Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice. On a box of rat poison.
    4. Warning: High in sodium. On a salt cellar.
    5. Remove the plastic wrapper. The instruction on a bag of microwave popcorn.
    6. Take one capsule by mouth three times daily until gone. On a box of pills.
    7. Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat.
    8. Use like regular soap. On a bar of soap.
    9. This product is not to be used in bathrooms. On a bathroom heater.
    10. Simply pour the biscuits into a bowl and allow the cat to eat when it wants. On a bag of cat biscuits.

    Silly Warning Label – But Oh So True!

    On the wall of a British Columbia cleaning service:
    “Able to Do the Worst Possible Job.”

    See more silly warning labels

    Strange Instructions

    These cautions raise more questions than they answer.

    On Children Cough Medicine:

    ‘Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication’

    (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those forklifts.)

    On packaging for a clothes iron:

    ‘Do not iron clothes on body’.

    (But wouldn’t this save me more time?)

    On a Myer hairdryer:

    ‘Do not use while sleeping’.

    See more funny warning labels

    Stupid Warning Signs

    Wherever you go look out for funny signs, most are accidents, but ever people get the humour right, they get an attentive audience.

    Please be safe. Do not stand, sit, climb or lean on zoo fences. If you fall, animals could eat you and that might make them sick. Thank you.

    20 Hilarious Warning Labels Collected by Will and Guy

    1. Do not use house paint on face. Seen on TV in a Visa commercial that depicts an expecting couple looking for paint at a hardware store.
    2. Do not drive cars in ocean. Seen in a car commercial which shows a car in the ocean.
    3. Always drive on roads. Not on people. Taken from a car commercial which shows a vehicle ‘body-surfing’ at a concert.
    4. Take care: new non-slip surface. A sign in front of a newly renovated ramp that led to the entrance of a building.
    5. Do not sit under coconut trees. A sign on a coconut palm in a car park.
    6. These rows reserved for parents with children. A sign in a church.
    7. All cups leaving this store, rather full or empty, must be paid for. A sign in a Cumberland Farms in Hillsboro, New Hampshire.
    8. Malfunction: Too less water. A notice left on a coffee machine.
    9. Prescriptions cannot be filled by phone. On a form in a clinic.
    10. You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. On a bag of Fritos.
    11. Fits one head. On a hotel-provided shower cap box.
    12. Payment is due by the due date. On a credit card statement.
    13. No small children. On a Laundromat triple washer.
    14. Toilet Plunger – Caution: Do not use near power lines.
    15. Dremel Electric Rotary Tool – This product not intended for use as a dental drill.
    16. Stridex Foaming Face Wash – May contain foam.
    17. Earplugs – These ear plugs are nontoxic, but may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe.
    18. Pine Mountain Fire Logs – Caution: Risk of fire.
    19. Air Conditioner – Caution: Avoid dropping air conditioners out of windows.
    20. Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish. Found on a bottle of shampoo for dogs.

    Funny Warning Label on Jose Cuervo Especial

    Nothing As Mundane as Safety Must Interfere With the Tea Break

    Footnote:
    Please send us your funny warning labels, or silly signs.

    See more sections of funny pictures, amusing videos and clean jokes

    • All sections • Cars • Bicycles • Funny planes • Military • Funny train pictures • Wisdom

    • Indian • Men jokes • Women jokes • Funny buildings • Funny people • Unusual vehicles

    • Funny clean jokes • Short stories • Stupid signs • Funny warning labels • Phone jokes • Home

    Spread the humour

    • Most of the products we buy, from clothing to power tools, carry some kind of warning label on them. Some are useful, others should be common sense, and a select few carry some mighty strange messages!

      Here’s an assortment of strange signs and warning labels to amuse and confound:

      1. Theft warning in church-

      Church seems like the last place thieves would be looking to steal your stuff, but when you don’t have a problem with theft you don’t need to put up a sign:

      (Image Link)

      2. Coathangers aren’t food-

      Unless you’re a sword swallower or you have a strange eating addiction you shouldn’t need a warning label to tell you not to swallow a hanger.

      And if you can’t read, or you simply don’t believe the warning, the added illustration will show you why it’s a bad idea:

      (Image Link)

      3. Too Old To Trampoline-

      Most people don’t consider being 40 years old an ailment, but according to the laws of the trampoline world forty is officially too old to bounce:

      ()

      4. Wear safety goggles while opening letters-

      I can only imagine the crazy office product related tragedy that must have occurred to warrant including such a ridiculous warning with a little plastic letter opener. My guess is they shouldn’t have touched Milton’s stapler:

      ()

      5. We have no burritos today-

      This sign was designed to deter those nefarious freeway burrito bandits from trying anything funny:

      (Image Link)

      6. Keep coffee away from crotch-

      It should go without saying that hot coffee and crotches don’t mix, but when a terrible mishap results in a crazy lawsuit a ridiculous warning label is born:

      (Image Link)

      7. Swimming may result in drowning-

      This strange sign may be totally unnecessary, but at least it’s absolutely true- if you can’t swim then you’re not swimming in the pool, you’re drowning!:

      (Image Link)

      8. Driving dogs on drugs are dangerous-

      Dogs aren’t allowed to drive yet, but when they’re finally allowed to operate motor vehicles this drug interacton warning will officially become useful. Until then it will remain one of those WTF warning labels that makes us scratch our heads and wonder why:

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      9. Please don’t feed yourself to animals-

      Many animals kept in zoos are dangerous, and most people visiting the park know better than to feed themselves to the critters.

      But for those who don’t have a clue (assuming they can read) this sign should keep them from making those poor critters sick with their gross human flesh:

      (Image Link)

      10. Keep children away from washing machine-

      Washing your kids along with your clothing may seem like a great way to save time, but do your kid, and their spine, a favor and heed this warning label!:

      ()

      11. Having a throat can be dangerous-

      Who is vulnerable to throat cancer? Only every single human being in the world who has a mouth or throat, so it looks like those who no longer have a throat are off the hook!:

      (Image Link)

      12. Please zip carefully-

      There are many men in the world who wish their jeans had come with this warning label. Unfortunately, most of us learn this lesson the hard way:

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      13. But is it dangerous, or not?-

      Putting warning labels on power tools and machinery is just good practice, but when the label is too confusing to understand then why bother? Who has some danger here- the parts of your body or the machine?

      ()

      When in doubt always heed the warnings on signs and labels- unless you can’t understand what the heck they’re trying to say!

      Yes, warning labels are important — we definitely want to know when toy parts are a choking hazard or if a product’s material is particularly flammable. But sometimes they can sound a little nuts. Here are a few examples where you’d think common sense would prevail.

      Maybe this washing machine should add a note that you have to remove your clothes from your body before trying to wash them.

      Sorry, ladies. This is one beauty shortcut that you can’t use to speed up your morning routine.

      Who knew that opening a thank you card could be such a dangerous endeavor?

      Good to know: Flat irons don’t double as eyelash curlers.

      Yet another potential time-saver foiled. Guess you’ll have to bathe after cleaning your shower instead of during.

      Okay, maybe this one’s necessary. We’ve definitely stuck our finger through the hole to fish out a jammed towelette. But never again.

      In case you were thinking of lumping together bath time and laundry time: bad idea.

      We just really, really hope that no one actually attempted this one. And that picture. Oh man, that picture.

      TELL US: What’s the wackiest warning label you’ve ever come across?

      NEXT: 18 Smart Solutions for Around the House “